There is never enough time in the day.
Though more time would mean I would be even busier so I am not sure more time would really help.
This morning I was stepping on magnets, jumping over laundry piles, wondering how my shower got so disgusting so fast, and not understanding how there are always dirty sippy cups. I have had the same to-do list with the same items on it for a week now. At the end of the night I am exhausted but then look around and I have accomplished NOTHING at home. Yes, I worked all day and my kids are alive and fed but seriously, how long are those dirty blankets going to stay in the hallway?
As a working mom I already feel as though I spend WAY too much time away from my children already. So the time I do have I don’t want to spend it cleaning! Oh and let’s not forget I also have a spouse that I would like to hang out with as well. But nothing says romance like “hey baby, aren’t these panties sexy? Can you help me fold them?”
WORK-FAMILY BALANCE is a bunch of bullshit. It’s more like work, family, house, friends, and me balance. Seriously, how am I supposed to be a good mom, an attentive wife, have a clean house (and clean clothes), be a great friend, take care of myself (working out, eating right, having “me” time), or yea and have a career?
Then this morning I got to thinking: Why is it a bad thing that I don’t have it all together? Why as moms are we made to feel guilty about dirty floors and messy kitchens? Dads for damn sure don’t care! So why do we?
I’m stressing myself out trying to meet these unrealistic expectations. “Invisible work” is weighing me down. My mind is constantly thinking of things no one else in my family is worried about. Are we out of shower gel? Did I buy enough meat for dinner? What should we bring for show and tell? We are out of toilet paper and paper towel. Honestly being a woman is exhausting.
Today I decided to cut the crap.
Are the clothes washed and clean? Yes! So who gives a damn if they aren’t folded and put away?
Has my kid had the ipad for longer than he should? Yes, but he’s quiet and I get to sit down for more than 5 minutes.
Is it night #3 of pancakes and sausage for dinner because I can’t take the “I don’t like this, I don’t want to eat that” routine? Yup.
Do I complain about missing my kids while I’m at work but then go workout for an hour when I get home? Guilty.
I’ve stopped listening to what other people or the internet says is the right way for me to be a mother, a wife, or a career woman. Sometimes the dishes will soak for nights at a time because we want to play a board game. Some nights I will miss out on being well rested because I would rather spend time with the husband. Sometimes I will give myself the time I need to be alone in order to recharge. And there will be times I miss out on field trips and drop offs at school because I have time work in order to provide.
Is it a crime to be just “OK” at life?
If ok means my children are happy I’ll take it. If ok means my 4 year old can read “Cat in the Hat” and my 1 year old can recognize numbers and letters already…. Sounds like I’m winning. If ok means I can be with the same man for 11 years and still smile when I write about him at this moment, that doesn’t seem too bad. If ok means I get exceptional reviews at work and am excelling in my career and personal side endeavors, consistently working out 3 times a week, and still manage to keep the same friends I’ve had since grade school…. I’m killing it.
Sure sometimes I’ll wear the same bra for a week or leggings to work and make them seem professional but whatever. Life doesn’t come with a manual (but thank God for wine), so I’m not trippin’. Show me a perfect mom and I’ll show you a leprechaun, riding a unicorn with a vampire, to the North Pole, pooping gold….. exactly.
Keep your Folgers close, but your Chardonnay closer.